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"I Am Adam Lanza's Mother:" A Mom Struggles to Help Mentally Ill Son

The mother of a mentally ill son describes what their life is like in a commentary written to offer personal insight into the Newtown school shooting.

 

Liza Long is the mother of a mentally ill son, age 13, who has threatened to kill her and himself. She lives in fear.

Similar to Newtown school shooter Adam Lanza, Long's son is academically gifted but suffers from wrenching behavioral problems. He can be calm and sweet or erupt in unpredictable violent fits.

Long's commentary, "I Am Adam Lanza's Mother," describes what her family's life is like in an attempt to galvanize help and support for families with children suffering from serious mental illness.

This criticism of Long's article has also been published since "I Am Adam Lanza's Mother" was promoted on the Huffington Post home page Dec. 16. This Slate article criticizes Long for comparing her son to Lanza and other mass shooters.

For more coverage of the school shooting, visit Newtown Patch.

Related Topics: Adam Lanza, Connecticut school shooting, Mental Health, and Newtown school shooting

aaishahmu

6:16 am on Monday, December 17, 2012

How come everytime a white commits a mass shooting; its a mental health issue. Instead of holding them accountable for their actions....

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New World Orphan

10:26 am on Monday, December 17, 2012

well hows comes blacks and puerto ricans want everything for free without having to work for anything.... how comes you wanna shoot up all your homies for stepping on your shoes... how comes the majority of blacks and ricans don't know how to read and don't care... how comes blacks and ricans are the first to pull the race card...

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Carl W

11:33 am on Monday, December 17, 2012

Actually, the only ones I know of, have been done by whites. That incudes the ones in white bedsheets, w/ pointy hats!

Jeff Brosky

7:27 am on Monday, December 17, 2012

ah i knew the race card was going to be pulled

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Gwen Mitchell

7:54 am on Monday, December 17, 2012

That's offensive. That's what you got out of reading this article?!?! Get a grip...

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LMTnative

8:50 am on Monday, December 17, 2012

Mental illness is a sickness that must be treated and not ignored. No one wants their child to be different or worse yet labeled as different but they are and were need to stop pretending they aren't. We keep mainstreaming more and more special needs children because their parents don't want to admit they are not normal and they have special needs. State hospitals are becoming a thing of the past and these sickos are living amongst us. Society has to start treating these people for how they are: sickos that should be isolated and cared for in a protective and nurturing environment like the state hospital system of previous generations. Stop sticking them into my kids school classrooms because mom and dad think it's the least restrictive environment for them and the law says "no child left behind". Now for the sake of a few sick individuals who will never repay their debts to society normal children suffer because of their inclusion into classrooms where they don't belong and they take away valuable resources from the children who are normal and are going to be supporting these special kids for the rest of there lives.

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Chris Miller

2:32 pm on Monday, December 17, 2012

LMTnative
You are correct. Some time ago we made a decision that it would be okay to allow those who are mentally troubled should be allowed to be among us.There could be a lot of reasons for this depending on the situation. We were sold a bill of goods that some how putiing mentally unstabled people among us was going to benefit them and us. It obviously did not happen. What we have to do is to remember that some children will be born with a disease that will cause them to be violent. We know that we will get older and thus we will lose our ability to walk, we might have alzheimers or another mental illness that again causes us to harm others. At this point we do not know what we might happen to use. Those are very sad momnets. What is sadder is seeing the victims of an assualt dead on the ground and a mentally ill individual standing there or dead on the floor and the rest of us trying to figure out what happen. What needs to be done is to bring back the institutions for those who would harm others.

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tamarya

8:14 pm on Monday, December 17, 2012

What are you talking about, kids went to school for yrs that were slow or delayed and that is exactly how they were classified. Now we have a label to put on every child that is not up to speed. They are autistic, they have adhd, they have add, the have schizophrenia, when will we stop labeling them and babying them and treat them like humans that will grow into adults one day and will not have the excuses when they do wrong. That is the problem, too much pity. Growing up in school I suffered alot of the symptoms of auto spectrum disorders, however I was not diagnosed, was disciplined not babied and I grew up to be capable of being responsible for my actions. The school even sent my mom to a neurologist because of behavers I showed in kindergarten.

Missy Moyer-Schneck

9:10 am on Monday, December 17, 2012

So the immature adults have arrived to the conversation....nice

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NANI

9:25 am on Monday, December 17, 2012

this is ridiculous.. LMTnative i have a son who is Autistic.. But he is high functioning.. He doesn't have ANGER issues. Yes he doesn't feel comfortable in large groups and is delayed in school.. but by no means does that indicate that he should be locked up in a hospital...The issue here are the parents.. If you had a child that had behaviorial issues than why in hell would you have guns in the house and not have them locked.up. As parents we must teach our children basic life skills. We have to show them how to be compassionate to one another..We have to show them coping skills, problem solving skills..We also need to educate our children that violence is not the answer to problems...This is a sad case... but lets not start saying that All kids that have Behaviorial issues so be hospitalized...

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Carl W

11:28 am on Monday, December 17, 2012

Let's still remember a true fact - "95% of the time, it's safer living next to a person in mental health care, than the average person." National Inst. of Health.

I just don't want this horriffic incident to put a label on millions of innocent, decent people across the nation - people who are now crying, just like everyone else. Columbine, that theater, the Amish school - these weren't people in treatment. They were neighbors.

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WOW

1:03 pm on Monday, December 17, 2012

wow I cannot believe how immature all of you are. Mental illness and poverty comes in all shapes, colors and sizes. Truly pathetic, I wish adults could come to act like adults. This massacre is so disturbing and your racial, ignorant comments are disgusting. You all should be ashamed for participating in such despicable behavior. PATHETIC!!! Lets all just focus on the victims, this hardened criminal has received enough attention. GROW UP!!!!!

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Fred

1:19 pm on Monday, December 17, 2012

It is unkind, if not outright cruel, to call kids/students with mental health issues "sickos"! No one I have ever known or treated EVER wanted to have that label. That being said, a person is still responsible for his misdeeds, even if he has mental health issues. Parents have a responsibility, as does the school system, neighbors, concerned relatives to reach out to troubled souls. The gun collection certainly didn't help. What a tragedy. Now what's left is to sift through the why did no one see this coming?

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Mama

1:25 pm on Monday, December 17, 2012

I dont care who you are what color you are or how much you make or if your mentally stable or not. What makes a human being kill their own mother and than go to a school and open fire?? Makes me sick to my stomach. My heary aches for those people who lost loved ones! And realky makes you take a step back and think... sleep well little children!!! Watch over all the other little boys and girls!!

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Moving forward

2:36 pm on Monday, December 17, 2012

I can't believe so many people I live amongst are so incredibly racist. The mother of that child knew he had a mental illness that went untreated and she never sought out the help he needed. Instead she had bought guns and kept them in the same house with that child. She was wrong in my opinion. Also there are schools in New York that specialize ONLY in special education children, and in some schools they have classes geared only for some who need the extra help. I don't see that here. Please do not think that a child who keeps to himself has a psychiatric problem. Often times there are home issues they can't work out because of the maturity level. Some of these kids have homes where the parents who are constantly doing drugs snd alcohol and often times being degraded or made to feel worthless by these parents. No one knows what's going on behind these closed doors , so please people let's not be so closed minded. And it's not the color of the skin but what's inside the person. My question is, what are you teaching your child? To label because of how the child looks? Are we teaching to help another person or to judge?

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alivettg

3:27 pm on Monday, December 17, 2012

Well, my 13 yr old has aspergers as well... And until you people can live a day in my shoes.. Especially back when I had to fight the system that required BOTH parents signature to get her help(and her father refused). It wasn't till she threatened to kill her counselor was i finally able to get them to override his parental rights! And thank God for that! Yet it's up to ME. To make sure she takes her medicine.. For Gods sake, she is very very smart, honor role even, yet there are many areas where she just DOESN'T comprehend like you and I! And yes, without her medicine, she becomes very VIOLENT!!! And let me tell u one more thing... I'm a darn GOOD parent to my 3 children. I could parent till I'm purple, when she is in a mental rage... NO PARENTING NOR PUNISHMENT WILL STOP HER!!! So until you have an idea what it's like, don't judge! Oh, and btw... We are white?!????

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Kaos8

5:58 pm on Monday, December 17, 2012

I have full respect for you. Aspergers being a high functioning form of autism- is still hard to work with. My little cousin has just been diagnosed with same. It is such a new thing in the school district he is in, and he is only in 2nd grade- so it is very good we caught it this early in the game. My sister is a teacher and I have a lot of experience w/ many people w/ mental illness over the years- we all have banded together to make sure my little cousin get the appropriate schooling and counseling for this. He is not violent, he is just very socially akward, but extremely smart when it comes to certain things...Really off, when it comes to other things...But, when we were told asbergers- it all made sense. So my hat's off to you..It is a tough thing to work with.

Crestor Januvia

3:28 pm on Monday, December 17, 2012

Don't worry Liza... they are going to ban assault rifles. That should take care of any issues you have.

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Crestor Januvia

3:31 pm on Monday, December 17, 2012

alivettg... as long as you don't own an assault rifle, everything should be fine.

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Neighbor

4:47 pm on Monday, December 17, 2012

I also have a son with a developmental delay, no diagnosis, and I have 2 children who are 1/2 Spanish. I am disgusted with all your ignorant comments and thoughts. Mental Illness should not be classified as everyone who commits a crime is obviously ill. Stop focusing on race, illness and excuses. Parenting plays a huge role, I would NEVER have guns around my children # 1 and #2 especially since I have a child with a developmental delay. All of the judgment calls and racial comments are truly ridiculous. Really Salisbury Township - you sound like the most uneducated bunch I have listened to in a long time. None of you know how any of it feels so stop passing judgment on race and mental illness. Every single one of you has experienced periods of sadness (depression), elated feelings (mania) and anger. Every and anyone is capable of anything, don't forget that. Stop blaming, if you want to be productive morn for these families because that is all we should be doing right now.

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Kaos8

5:51 pm on Monday, December 17, 2012

I have dealt with people w/ mental illness for a long time.. My best friend has a severe mental illness that was not properly diagnosed until she was in her late 20's..What a ride that was. I am her only friend that stuck by her side and did not abandon her. The problem is, most families want to ignore the situation or throw money at it hoping it will go away. When someone does decide to get involved and needs help- it is legally almost impossible. This has been a very long, tiring road..So, yes I know what it is like...Another big problem is a lot of the adults that are over 18yrs old, know the medical system so well, they know what to do to sign themselves in and out of these hospitals. And due to HIPAA Laws, it is even harder yet to get someone the help they need. Insurance companies, Doctors, Hospitals and The LAW have made it very difficult almost impossible to help someone, when they are in a state that they cannot help themselves. If the police are called and you need someone committed, the only way to get these people into the hosp, is if they threatened suicide or were threatening bodily harm to someone else. Otherwise a family member has to committ them, and most won't. 72hrs in a hospital does not help most of these people. The laws have to change and parents need to become more involved in what is happening with their kids.

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Theresa Schnable

6:08 pm on Monday, December 17, 2012

Mental illness is not a race issue. People need to be "labeled" in this society so they can actually get the help they so desperately need. They need to be cared for and educated by people who are experts in their behavioral issues. They don't need to be "mainstreamed" into the classrooms, so they can be targeted by the cruelty of their peers, or shunned because they feel "so" different. They deserve special treatment from people who accept their differences, and we as a society need to search our souls and wonder, WHY is this generation SO ANGRY ???

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alivettg

10:37 pm on Monday, December 17, 2012

Crestor... I'm guessing you are one to blame the guns as well??!? Sorry to inform you... But beings I know how to use locks and trigger locks.. And hide the key from any child..... I will never be a defenseless single mother , certainly not in this society!! So good luck with your assault weapons ban.... Just another way Government wants to control us, by making us think we will be safer without and rely on authorities to save us every time a criminal waves a gun... I think NOT!

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Mallory Vough

10:39 pm on Monday, December 17, 2012

Several comments have been removed because they violated Patch's "Terms of Use": http://nazareth.patch.com/terms

Debate and banter are encouraged. Disagreements are OK. But let's keep it civil.

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D

11:21 pm on Monday, December 17, 2012

Thank you for removing the comments in response to this horrible tradgedy. How could anyone foresee this event coming. There is much to consider with no "one" solution. I'm surprised many more of these comments were not removed. We should be quiet and contemplative; not only to demonstrate our acknowledgement, grief, sympathy, and empathy, but our capacity and potential for the change that is necessary to create a society where violence is rare, not commonplace.

alivettg

11:05 pm on Monday, December 17, 2012

I think next... Alcohol should be banned..would anyone care to look up the amount of deaths each year from DRUNK DRIVERS, compared to gun deaths?! Just like everything an everywhere in politics.. People have their priorities WRONG! Do people protest the law change and prohibit any alcohol every time someone / people die in drunk driving cases???? Nooo, they blame the IRRESPONSIBLE PERSON WHO DRANK TOO MUCH, as they should! Guns are the same thing!! And gun control was strict in that town .... Had at least the principal been trained and able to have a gun in a safe somewhere... Most likely alot of lives could've been spared, by taking him out first!!

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