Great Escape: Garlic Festival

I’ve always wanted an Italian grandmother. That’s not to say I don’t love my Cuban and Canadian Abuela and Mom Mom, respectively. I worship and adore them. It’s just that I’m a real sucker for a well-seasoned puttanesca and a spread of roasted cauliflower, fresh mozzarella and crostini.

And although Mario, Giada and the Barefoot Contessa certainly throw down in the cook book department, it’s no substitute for your own Nonna, whose food is as much a part of your childhood as “Fraggle Rock” and “The Baby-Sitters Club.” (I’m speaking from my own experience as a child of the ‘80s, of course.)

I love any excuse to try my hand at an elaborate, authentic Italian meal, and ladies and gentleman, may I present to you YOURS: The Easton Garlic Fest, this weekend on the square.

So much garlic. So many uses. Endless time. Not only will you have the opportunity to buy, taste and, certainly, smell an abundance of fresh cloves, but you’ll watch masters at work, who will guide you in your culinary journey.

Catch headliner, Stretch (full name. One word – like Madonna), at 2:30 p.m. on Sunday, as he gives you the secret to his buzzworthy, mouthwatering recipes. Stretch owns Grinders, a famous Kansas City eatery bumped into the stratosphere by Guy Fieri, who featured it on his Food Network show, “Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives.”

Already a bulb master? Try your hand at a little competish and enter the Dracula Dip Contest and see if your dip is the “stinkin’ best in town.” Or, if you’re like me and just like to wander, enjoy the live music as you take a stroll through the isles of food and merchandise vendors, selling everything from garlic-soaked mozzarella braids to garlic-infused olive oils.

Armed with ingredients and ideas, head home and don your best mafia-inspired outfit. Invite over a few friends and promise them an evening of garlic-soaked, Italian deliciousness. Fuggedaboutit. 

Oh, and it may also be a good idea to buy a few mints. Cause it’s going to get a little crazy. Just sayin'. 

Escape begins: Saturday, Oct. 1, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., and Sunday, Oct. 2, 12 p.m. to 6 p.m.

Where: Centre Square, Easton.

Cost: Free.